Long Live
by Ariah 'Watson-Holmes
Summary: Cas disappeared a long time ago. Dean and Sam have quit hunting. Dean has a family now. His oldest son is named Cas. What happens when Cas's namestake wonders about where his name comes from? Set in the future. Destiel oneshot. Major Character death. Angst. Inspiration from Taylor Swift's song Long Live.


"Dad, why did you name me Castiel?" Cas asked me one day. I looked at him and sighed. He looked like the original Cas: dark hair, crystal blue eyes, slightly tanned complexion... The thing is though, the two will never meet. Cas left long ago, before I even met my wife. Sam and I have never understood why he just disappeared one day. He had been acting strange before he left: staring at me with sad eyes, talking even less than usual, and his voice... he sounded sad, as if he knew something that we didn't.  
We stopped hunting shortly after. We realized that we were getting too old for it. We were injured more often, catching blows we normally could dodge. It didn't help that I had almost died for the umpteenth fucking time. We both settled down near each other. We decided to never tell our children about hunting and the supernatural. Our wives knew though.  
I looked at Cas again. "Well there was this great man I once knew named Castiel He helped your Uncle Sammy and I with our work."  
"Really? What was he like?" Cas asked excited. I smiled fondly and pulled out a small photo from my pocket. It was the only photo I had from my hunting days. Everyone was in it... Sam, Bobby, Jo, Ellen, and Cas. Things were good back then.  
"He was a great man Cas. He always tried to protect us and helping us when he could... He was the best man I have ever known," I reply staring at the photo. I hand it over to Cas with a weary smile. "He's the one in the trench coat. He always wore that outfit."  
"Just like how you and Uncle Sammy always seem to wear the same outfit everyday?"  
"Yes, just like Sammy and I." Then came the question I was dreading.  
"Can I meet him dad?"  
I sighed. "No. I haven't seen Cas in a long time. I haven't even heard from him for years..."  
"Oh. Why is that? Did something happen?"  
"Kinda. He just disappeared one day Cas. Uncle Sammy and I don't know why, and haven't seen him since." My heart tightened. I never even gotten to thank Cas for everything. Or tell him something...  
"Oh. Did you guys look for him?"  
"Yes. We spent years looking for him. Sammy gave up after a while, but I continued."  
Cas nodded, understanding. He was quiet for a long time, "Did you love him?"  
I stared at him shocked. "Yes. I loved him. He saved me when no one else could and he was always there. Looking over me, like some kind of personal guardian angel."  
"Did he know?"  
"I think he did."  
Cas was about to ask another question when he was told to go to bed. Sarah, my wife, walked in.  
"Interesting conversation?" She asked, sitting down near me.  
"Mmm... He was wondering about his name."  
"Did you tell him?"  
"Yes, but not everything."  
"The part about him being an angel and you and Sam being hunters."  
I nodded and took a sip of my beer. "I miss him Sarah."  
"I know you do."  
I hit the armrest of my chair. "Why did he leave though?!" I love to keep my emotions in check and hidden, but I failed this time. Tears began to roll down my cheek. "Why couldn't he have stayed? If he had stayed, even for a little longer... I could've told him. I could've told him how much he means to me."  
Sarah got up and comforted me. "He must have had a very good reason Dean."  
Several years past without further mention of the angel, and my health began to deteriorate quickly. It was to be expected, considering that I didn't take the absolute best care of my body when I was younger and on hunts. I knew that I wouldn't live much longer.  
Sarah came in the day I passed, about an hour beforehand. "Maybe you will see him again. Up there."  
I stared at her with a small smile. I reached up and cupped her face. She made me think of what Cas would look like as a female. She knew this. She raised her hand to rest on mine.  
"Goodbye Dean. I love you."  
"I love you too Sarah."  
She left the room, tears strolling down her face. Cas then walked in.  
"Papa, are you going to leave us now?"  
I smiled at the boy and nodded. "I'm sorry Cas, but you're going to have to be the man of the house now."  
"It's ok Papa, now you can go be happy up in Heaven with Great Uncle Bobby, Grandpa, Grandma, Great Aunt Jo, Aunt Ellen, and Cas!" Cas beamed at me. "The only one missing will be Uncle Sammy."  
I smiled a little more. "Yeah. I'll be with my family. Just like the good old days. But you are going to have to make sure that your sisters stay safe."  
Cas nodded before leaving. I fell into a deep sleep shortly afterwards, the heart monitor making a consistent sound.  
When I opened my eyes, I smiled. I was in Heaven again. My personal Heaven. It looked like my hometown.  
"Hello Dean." The familiar, longed for voice rang out from behind me. I turned around and stared at him.  
"Cas."  
He began to walk towards me before I stopped him. "What's wrong Dean?"  
"You left, all those years ago. You didn't say anything, or even leave anything. I searched for you for years Cas. I just want to know why you left Cas."  
Cas stared at me. "Because I couldn't bear seeing you getting hurt anymore." He shifted on his feet. "Also, you kept aging, but I stayed the same. Take a look at yourself Dean. You look a lot like you did when I first gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition."  
I looked at myself. Cas was right. I looked younger. "You could've warned us."  
"No. You would've tried to make me stay."  
"Yes, but I could've told you something then. I thought I had lost you again Cas!"  
"I know. I watched over you."  
I stared at him. I walked over and hugged him. "Did you know that my son is named after you?"  
"Yes." He hugged me back.  
"I did it because he looks like you Cas."  
"I know."  
I chuckled softly. "Of course. Is there anything you don't know?"  
Cas pulled away and stared at me. "Yes."  
I blinked at him a few times. "Then ask."  
"I love you."  
I shook my head softly before kissing him. "That wasn't a question."  
"I know."  
My hand was resting on his face, cupping it softly, our foreheads resting against each other. "If you couldn't tell, I feel the same." Cas simply nodded. We stayed there for awhile.  
"We should go Dean. Everyone has been waiting for you."  
"Will you stay with me?"  
"Forever."  
I smiled, one of the genuine smiles only meant for Cas. "Good." We walked off to go and see everyone else, hand in hand.


End file.
